Labels

Labels... uh, i hate labels.  Why do we have to label people.

my Mistress and i had a discussion about it a couple nights ago laying in bed after a pretty hot play session.  i told her about how someone on FetLife "liked" a few of my pictures.  This person was a CD like myself, and local to where we live. He has his "orientation" as "bisexual"

Now, i'm happily married.  my Wife is my Goddess.  She is my life and i love her unconditionally.  i've never been with a man.  But... since we've started down this D/s, FLM... yes, i've thought about it.  There is something about being kept in chastity all the time the messes with your head.  And i'm not saying that as in a bad way.  But, being constantly on the edge of sexual frustration and arousal, while also being feminized, certainly has it's affects.

my whole mental picture of what i find attractive has changed in the past 5 years.  Yes, i love women. They are probably the most beautiful creatures on the planet.  But, i also think clean cut, well groomed, men are attractive.  i've seen countless pictures of crossdressers and trans women that i find incredibly attractive.  i find myself picturing men on occasions and fantasizing about it.  We often roll play cuckold and MMF fantasies which turn us BOTH on.

Does this make me bisexual?  Bicurious?  Gay?  Straight?  i asked Mistress what she thought, and here's where the discussion started.  What if i was fully crossdressed and was with a man.  What if i was dressed as a man and was with a crossdresser.  See why i don't like labels?

i told her why i don't like labels.  Why does as a society, do we have to label people.  i'm not gay, bi, or hell even straight.  i'm me.  i'm attracted to beautiful people.  But most of all i'm attracted to my amazing Wife/Mistress.  i'm attracted to her on more than a physical level.  She mentally stimulates me more than anyone i've ever known.  She fulfills my deepest physical and mental desires.  It's why, i think, we work so well together.  And why She will be the ONLY one for me... ever!

Friends

my last post was about making friends on FetLife.  i'd like to tell you about one couple we met from there.  She was the first person we met, and made us feel very welcome.  We didn't meet Her husband until a few months later.  We hit it off with them and became very close.  Turns out we have so much in common.

Much like our relationship, She is the Dominant, and he is Her submissive.  he is also a crossdresser!  So, yeah, the two of us have a lot in common.  i still find it awkward to talk so very openly about something so "taboo".  Being friends with them and spending time with them, has made us feel comfortable enough to open up more in the past 6 months than the past 3+ years.

my Wife has become more confident, in control, and She's grown as a Dominant.  i have also grown.  The D/s dynamic between us has has really become an intricate part of our relationship.  When we first started down this path it was almost strictly in the bedroom.  i've learned that i can be a submissive in nearly all aspects of life.  Her needs always come first, and i love to please Her.  Whether that's in the bedroom, or just tending to Her needs.  I do laundry, dishes, house work, i give pedicures, foot rubs, and generally just put Her first.  i've learned that being submissive, it brings me pleasure to please my Mistress.

i don't think we would have gotten this far without friends.

FetLife

How did this wild ride start for us?  Neither myself or my Wife have ever had a kinky side.  Hell, when we got married the wildest thing we did was maybe play with a blindfold.  It wasn't until about our 3rd year of marriage did i run into a site called FetLife.  For those that don't know, it's kinda like facebook for adults.  Things kind of snowballed from there, and we just started experimenting and trying new things.  Trying new things... i'm convinced that IS the key to a happy marriage.  

Never of us thought we would make so many friends from FetLife! Anyone reading this that is nervous or scared about going to a local munch, i know EXACTLY how you feel. We felt the same way when we went to our first one. But we also had a great time! And it wasn't anything like i thought it would be. Turns out, it was just dinner.

The person that was in charge made us feel very welcome, and it was a very comfortable setting. There were maybe a dozen people, maybe a few more. Everyone was nice. And it was just a bunch of adults having conversation. Once we realized we were just having dinner with a bunch of like minded people, we realized we weren't all that "different" after all.  Since that first one, we've gone back several times. We've also made some really good friends.

So to all those out there reading, go to a munch, have a good time, talk to some people. If you're worried about there being a bunch of creepers there... Well, as long as you're not the creeper, then you probably won't find any.

Pleasure

Different people experience pleasure in different ways...

Alpha Men take it.  They dominate women (and sometimes other males) and have sex when they want, how they want, and for however long they want.  When another person isn't available, they will stroke their cocks to as many orgasms as they want... They are in control.

Dominant Women take it.  They will use Men to get fucked when they want, how they want, and for however long they want.  When another person isn't available, they will masturbate with whatever they want to as many orgasms as they want... They are in control.

The submissive male is different.  i get my pleasure by pleasing my Mistress Wife.  It give me a great joy pleasuring Her with my mouth, fingers, or other means.  Sometimes i'm not even free of my cage.  She still gets as many orgasms as She wants (as She should), meanwhile i'm left denied, frustrated, and wanting more, which is fine with me!  my pleasure isn't always sexual.

But, when my pleasure is sexual, it's very different than an Alpha Man.  i am almost never allowed to touch my penis.  i'm locked in a steel cage 24/7.  It never even becomes erect unless i have permission.  Mistress is in control of ALL of my pleasure.  When She unlocks me, She plays with my (Her) penis.  But, She almost never strokes it.  All my life (before i met Her), whenever i played with myself, it's always been frantically stroking until orgasm.  Not anymore, She uses Her vibrator on the super sensitive underside of Her penis to bring me right to the edge, over and over and over again.  Or, She with just lightly drag Her fingers along and around the tip, giving me JUST enough sensation to get me panting, moaning, and begging.

Point is, i'm not an Alpha Man... i'm a submissive sissy crossdresser.  Locked in chastity, with no control or my private parts.  i don't (can't) stroke like a Man, and only cum when i'm allowed (which is rare).  i wouldn't ever change it either!  i'm so grateful of any pleasure Mistress gives me.  It drives me absolutely wide to be teased by Her fingers and/or vibrator.  i LOVE begging Her to let me cum... when She tells me no, She LOVES it when i beg Her to stop and lock the cage back on because i can't take anymore.